Dreaming

Well 2 nights ago I had a dream that there was a big spider in my room. I went to go scoop it up, cringed at the size of it, and as I got closer to it, the spider was gigantic, and ended up freaking me out. It had an orange pattern on its back and it was fucking hideous.

The day before yesterday, I went to Darryl's memorial service. The day started out ok. I was supposed to be bringing Mango lemonade for about 100 people, so I ended up working too late the night before, so I had to get up at the crack of dawn to make sure it was ok. It is my boss's recipe so I am glad I made it ok (being that she was at the service).

I had some guilt over so much self-obsession over petty stuff as I was driving to the memorial service. I pulled up into the church parking lot, and it was full. This guy was a great person. I thought to myself, maybe a few people would show at mine when I die.

As we pulled up, I began to cry much to the disgust of my boyfriend who told me right away to calm down (what an ass!) So I pulled myself together and went into the church, and just made it through the day. All the sadness from Teresa dying, my dad, EVERYONE came back to me.

I was thinking about the past year. I have been reunited with my son, had a brother overdose, have a best friend die, visited my daughter's grave in the first time in about 5 years, got a new job, and basically am being reunited with my other daughter (at a slower pace).

Life goes on, and things to get better.